Tag: Choose joy

How do you design your own life?

Missy Steadman

What do you vision your dream life to be like? Focus, be real, and think about what it would look like to you.

Now think about what your life is like right now. What would you change? Think about financially, physically, emotionally. Think about relationships with family, friends, coworkers and teammates.

To help me create and maintain a vision of my future, I create a vision board each year. I can’t wait until after Christmas to work on my 2019 board! I’m already thinking of what I want to put on there! There will be some repeats from the last couple of years (I think big!) and there will be new goals and dreams to add.

For the past 2 years, I’ve wanted the income of my side hustles, yes I have 2 businesses, to pay for my boys select soccer expenses along with the expense of sending them to Pine Cove each summer. I have achieved these goals! However, starting next week, my side hustles will become my main hustle as I leave my full time job at the end of this week. So my main financial goal for 2019 is much bigger!

Personally, I’ve focused my mind and thoughts to Choose Joy. Life throws you curve balls, you have control on how you react. Will you be bitter, resentful, or angry, or will you rise above the chaos, control your thoughts and choose joy? I refuse to let others control my thoughts and emotions. I have removed, or at least lessened my time around people who are negative. I don’t want to be that way, and I won’t spend time with people who are either.

You cannot control other people’s actions, but you do have control over yours. You have to make the choice to change. You can design your own life through change. It’s up to you. What are you waiting on?

Don’t Point Out Flaws

Missy Steadman

Public Service Announcement: Don’t point out other people’s flaws in order to sell them something! It’s just rude. No one wants to buy anything from a rude person.

I know, I know, you have something to help them. You are just trying to help, because you care! I understand that, but until they care enough to help themselves, it doesn’t matter! They also could have accepted the flaw as part of who they are naturally.

See, that was me 3 years ago. I’ve been overweight most of my life. I didn’t need anyone to point that fact out to me. I’m smart, I can read and study for myself the dangers of being overweight, and the solutions for how to lose weight. However, I didn’t care, nor was I motivated to change.

Then we moved 3 years ago. I was tired and exhausted from the process of moving, and yet still had to be a wife, mom, and employee. I would come home from work, and if I sat down, I didn’t want to get back up! Yet, my boys, in effort to fit in and make new friends, tried out for select soccer. Of course, I wanted them to make the team and achieve their goals and dreams… but I was the one stuck taking them to soccer practice 4 nights a week! I didn’t want to go to the grocery store, and I certainly didn’t want to cook, so we ate out all of the time!

My husband was picking up the slack in my failings, yet I was resentful of him having all the “fun” with the boys. I felt like I had become a spectator in my own life while everyone was living life around me! My husband kept asking, what is wrong, and I would look at him like he was crazy for not being able to figure it out!

I knew something had to change, and that change had to start with me! I was finally ready for something different, and no pushing or prodding by others could force me to make that change. It was up to me!

For the last 3 years, I’ve taken the baby steps necessary to make positive changes in my life. Through personal development, I’ve learned, over time, that the only person I have control of is me, and I needed to be in control… not time demands, not food, and not others. I’ve gained my health back. I’ve got energy to go to the gym, cook, and interact with others, even after a long day.

Through watching others, I found help, gently… not a quick fix, but a lifestyle change. True change, on my timing, with God’s help. I’m participating in life again, and I’m finding joy in the journey. I’m excited about changes for the future! I’m a very different person than I was 3 years ago, and I can’t wait to see what the next 3 years bring! The next changes for me are giant leaps; baby steps are no longer enough!

I’ve come a long way…but still have further to go

Missy Steadman

Last night, my husband took me Christmas shopping for clothes. I rarely shop for clothes without him since he wears his likes or dislikes in the expression on his face. I walk out of the store with clothes I love and he says looks good on me… we are both happy.

However, the shopping process, the trying on of clothes plays with my mind! Why do they have to use the lighting they use?! It is not flattering! And don’t even get me started on full length mirrors! I look at my reflection, and see every imperfection… in bad lighting! I know, I know, in order to see how clothes fit, you need a full length mirror, but that does not mean that I have to like them.

Last night, everything I tried on fit perfectly! I was able to go down a size in jeans! Did mention I found jeans that fit perfectly. In women language, that means it’s a miracle!

So while I’m seeing my imperfections in one moment, I see my success in the next moment! I can choose to focus on my imperfections, or I can choose to find joy in my success. I choose joy!

I’m not in denial of my imperfections. I know that I have a long way to go, but I choose to celebrate in the journey. I must find the joy in each step to find the motivation to continue! I choose joy in how far I’ve come, and I keep working towards the next goal!